And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
