My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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