somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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