margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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