Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
