My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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