so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
