Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
third nipple confirmed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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