I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i think my cat just said my name.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
