wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize