once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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