She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
