Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize