i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
