I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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