i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize