she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
