Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
