We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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