If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
