dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
