Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
