whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
