Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
