why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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