Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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