i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
