I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
