how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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