I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
