in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
