She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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