Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize