someone threw a dead crab at me
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
