Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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