Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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