Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
