She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How's work?
Spinning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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