we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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