the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
