Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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