You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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