he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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