my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
