He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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