it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
