I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
