Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
