bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
