apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She just used a chaser for red wine.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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