the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
