I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
sex in a hospital.. check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
