I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
