The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
