didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
