What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
