I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
