what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My ATM looks so different sober.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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