Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
