Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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